人的成长是一个不断体验、不断尝试、不断犯错，并最终通向智慧的过程。每次你自信满满，并付诸行动，你从来都不确定结果会是怎样。有时候你会载誉而归，有时候你会大失所望。但是失败的经历和成功的经历一样具有可贵的价值。从成功中你可以学到东西，但事实上，你通常可以从失败中学到更多。
如果你发觉自己犯了错或者不能达到自己的预期目标，你往往会在真正的自我和可疑的做错事的人之间放置一道障碍。但是，把过去的行为当做犯错只会增加内疚和自责，而在自责中你是不可能学到任何有意义的教训的。因此，当你过分苛求自己的时候，你应该对自己拥有宽恕之心。
宽恕是指完全放下曾经的芥蒂。宽恕有四种类型：第一种是对自己的低层次的宽恕。第二种是对他人过失的低层次的宽恕。第三种是对自己更进一步的宽恕。这涉及到你严重的过失，即那些使你深深自责的过失。当你的所作所为违背了自己的价值观和道德观的时候，你的准则和自己的实际行为之间往往会出现一道裂痕。在这种情形下，你要非常努力地原谅自己的这些过失，这样你才能修复裂痕，重新塑造最好的自我。这并不意味着你可以仓促地原谅自己或是不知悔恨；而是因为，长时间地沉浸在懊悔中不利于健康，而且过度惩罚自己只会使自己和自己的道德准则之间的鸿沟愈加扩大。
第四种也许是最难的宽恕，它是对其他人的更进一步的宽恕。在我们的生活中，你可能被他人误会或是伤得很深，以至于你根本不可能原谅他们。但是，心怀怨恨和复仇的幻想只会使你陷入受伤害的情绪中。在这种情形下，你应该迫使自己看到更远的前景，这样做，你可以转移自己的愤怒和仇恨。只有宽恕他人，你才能摒弃过错，刷新记忆。当你最终从这种情形中解脱出来，你就会明白它是你成长过程中必不可缺的部分。
Choose Optimism 选择乐观
If you expected something to turn out bad，it probably will. Pessimism is seldom disappointed. But the same principle also works in reverse. If you expect good things to happen，they usually do！ These seem to be a natural cause-and-affect relationship between optimism and success.
Optimism and pessimism are both powerful forces，and each of us must choose which we want to shape our outlook and our expectations. There is enough good and bad in everyone’s life- ample sorrow and happiness，sufficient joy and pain- to find a rational basis for either optimism or pessimism. We can choose to laugh or cry，bless or curse. It‘s our decision：From which perspective do we want to view life？ Will we look up in hope or down in despair？
I believe in the upward look. I choose to highlight the positive and slip right over the negative. I am an optimist by choice as much as by nature. Sure，I know that sorrow exists. I am in my 70s now，and I’velived through more than one crisis. But when all is said and done，I find that the good in life far outweighs the bad.
An optimistic attitude is not a luxury，it‘s a necessity. The way you look at life will determine how you feel，how you perform，and how well you will get along with other people. Conversely，negative thoughts， attitudes，and expectations feed on themselves. They become a self- fulfilling prophecy. Pessimism creates a dismal place where no one wants to live.
Years ago，I drove into a service station to get some gas. It was a beautiful day，and I was felling great. As I walked into the station to pay for the gas，the attendant said to me：“how do you feel？”That seemed like a odd question，but I felt fine and told him so.“You don’t look well.”He replied. This took me completely by surprise. A little less confidently，I told him that I had never felt better. Without hesitation，he continued to tell me how bad I looked and that my skin appeared yellow.
By the time I left the service station，I was feeling a little uneasy. About a block away，I pulled over to the side of road to look at my face in the mirror. How did I feel？ Was I jaundiced？ Was everything all right？ By the time I got home，I was beginning to feel a little queasy. Did I have a bad liver？ Had I picked up some rare disease？
The next time I went into the gas station，feeling fine again，I figured out what had happened. The place had recently been painted a bright，bilious yellow，and the light reflecting off the walls made everyone inside look as though they had hepatitis！ I wondered how many other folks had reacted the way I did. I had let one short conversation with a total stranger change my attitude for entire day. He told me I looked sick，and before long，I was actually feeling sick. That single negative observation had a profound effect on the way I felt and acted.
The one thing more powerful than negative is a positive affirmation， a word of optimism and hope. One of the things I am most thankful for is the fact that I have grown up in a nation with a grand tradition of optimism. When a whole culture adopts an upward look，incredible things can be accomplished. When the world is seen as a hopeful，positive place，people are empowered to attempt and to achieve.
Optimism doesn‘t need to be native. We can be an optimist and still recognize that problems exist and that some of them are not dealt with easily. But what a difference that optimism makes in the attitude of the problem solver！ Optimism diverts our attention away from negativism and channels it into positive，constructive thinking. When you are an optimist，you are more concerned with problem-solving than with useless carping about issues，In fact，without optimism，issues as big and ongoing as poverty have no hope of solution. It takes a dreamer- someone with absolutely optimistic ideas，great persistence，and unlimited confidence to tackle a problem that is a big problem. It’s your choice.
积极乐观的肯定总是比消极悲观更给人以力量。
参考翻译（修立芬）
如果你总想着事情会向不好的方向发展，也许事情真的就会变坏。悲观的想法通常不会落空，但反过来这个规律也依然奏效。如果你想会有好的事情发生，好事通常会发生。乐观和成功是一对很自然的因果关系。
悲观和乐观都具有很强大的力量，然而我们每一个人必须选择我们所期望的。每个人的生活中都有很多好的或者不好的事情发生--大量的幸福或悲哀的事情，足够的欣喜和痛苦的情况--为你每次的悲观或乐观找一个理性的理由。我们可以选择欢笑或者哭泣，祝福或者咒骂。我们想从哪一方面来看待生活？是充满希望地乐观下去，还是灰心失望地悲观下去？这取决于我们自己。
我相信积极乐观的态度。我选择把积极乐观的想法强调、扩大，尽量减少或忽略消极的想法。在每一次选择面前我都会毫不犹豫地选择做个乐观主义者。当然我也知道痛苦依然是存在的。我已到了古稀之年，我的生命中面临着很多危机。但当把所有的事情做好了我发现生活中的美好要远远重要于生活中痛苦的事情。一个积极乐观的态度并不是奢侈品，它是必需品。你看待生活的方式决定了你的感受、你的行为以及你与别人相处的状况。相反，悲观消极的想法、态度和期望也会带来相应的结果。每一种态度都是行为结果的预言。悲观消极营造了一个无人喜欢的阴暗环境。
几年前，我开车去一家服务站加油。那是美丽的一天，我心情很好。当我走到站里付油费的时候，服务员问我：“您感觉还好吗？”这是一个很奇怪的问题，但是我感觉很好也就这么跟他说了。“您脸色看起来不是很好。”他说道。这很让我吃惊。我告诉他我从没像现在一样感觉这么好，虽然回答起来不如刚才自信，但是他毫不犹豫地继续跟我说我的脸色看起来很差而且皮肤显得有些黄。
当我离开这家服务站的时候感觉有点不自在。过了一会儿，我把车停在路边然后在车镜中看起了自己的脸。我感觉怎么样？难道我患黄疸病了吗？一切都还好吗？在车上我不断地想着这些问题。当我到家的时候我甚至开始有点想呕吐了。是我的肝出问题了吗？还是我患上了其他罕见的疾病？
下次我又去了那家加油站，依然感觉很好。这次我终于知道到底是怎么回事儿了。因为这个地方刚刚刷过油漆，刷的是亮亮的胆汁黄漆，墙上的颜色通过灯光照到人脸上，所以每个在屋里的人都像是得了肝炎。我在想多少其他的顾客也跟我一样--听了别人说自己脸色不好然后真的就感觉身体不适。我竟然让一个完全陌生的人的一小段话影响了我一整天的心情。他告诉我我看起来好像是病了，然后很长的一段时间我都感觉自己真的病了。那个单独的消极的言论影响了我的感觉和我的行为。
比消极悲观更有力的只有对积极乐观的肯定。我感到幸运的是我生活在一个把积极乐观态度作为优良传统的国家。当整个文化都适应了积极向上的心态，那么多么令人难以置信的任务都可以完成。当这个世界被看做是充满希望的积极的地方，那么人们就被赋予了力量去努力拼搏。
