Once he was willing to feel his hurt，the loss of Jan ceased to be a treat. He no longer needed to hang on and became willing for her to leave. The moment this happened he changed the way he related to her. Instead of needing Jan，he started treasuring her. Jan then felt so loved and able to be herself，she didn’t want to leave.
This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life，the more life takes care of itself. You may not always get what you want，but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness. You can create a life that works.
人生有舍才有得，有时候放手不代表失去，可能是永久地拥有。顺其自然，凡事莫强求。心中有爱，幸福自然会围绕在你身边。
参考翻译（李定纹）
爱的体验，其实是一种内心的状态。当它正在进行中时，你觉得幸福、充满活力而且自由。你会感觉自己处于最佳状态，生活美好。因为你把爱的体验带入了生活，生活进行得毫不费力，自然好事连连。
爱的反面是恐惧和烦恼。处在这种状态时，你会觉得内心惘然，失去了创造力和辨别力。视野变窄，对琐事不当的处理往往让情况变得更麻烦。
活在爱里还是活在烦恼中，不光取决于你周围的环境，更取决于你的应对方式。一个好方法就是直面你的烦恼。
烦恼似乎是由所发生的事件引起的，其实不然。烦恼是因为你拒绝接受所发生的事而产生的。不信就选一个近期令你烦恼的事情来假设一下。如果你对所发生的事保持平和的心态，你就会注意到，其实所谓的烦恼，又有什么可烦恼的呢？
有一些事情发生的本身并不会引起烦恼。烦恼是人们对所发生的事的抵触和对抗而产生的情绪。当你不再抵触和对抗，那烦恼也会随之消失。
活在爱的体验中，创造一个舒适的生活条件，你需要停止这种抵抗。要达到这个目的，你需要经过一个过程，这个过程就称为“顺其自然”。
顺其自然是一种心理行动，帮你消除你的恐惧和烦恼。在你放手的这一刻，一切都将改变。随着恐惧和烦恼的消失，你会进入一个完全不同的精神领域。你变得具有创造力，能够发现新的解决问题的方式，然后以此来应对、解决问题。
顺其自然，你需要去做的就是不要拒绝、放弃对抗。不要对生活存有过高的要求和期望，该是怎样就是怎样，保持平和的心态。
找到你在抗拒的东西，然后完全认可它的存在。如果你害怕失去某个人，那么就学着适应你们的关系；如果你在抗拒某人，那么就试着完全认可他现在的样子。
试着适应所有的事。从内心释放自己。然后采取一切能使你的生活变得更棒的行动。
谨记顺其自然是一种内心的状态，与你的行动无关。它是消除恐惧和沮丧的过程，使你看清你需要如何做来解决问题。
在你心里，你可以失去某人，但在行动上，一定要尽全力让对方去感受你的爱，因此不想离去。
为了让自己轻松地顺其自然，你可以采取几个步骤。第一步就是信任。信任就是不管发生什么，你都没有疑问。当你知道你不会有什么问题时，顺其自然就变得相对简单了。
信任也意味着要说实话。不管发生什么，你要确定自己不会有问题。当你在抗拒的时候，生活就只会成为一个威胁。因此，停止抗拒，学会去信任。
顺其自然的第二步就是欣然接受你的伤痛。去体会周围环境带给你的所有伤痛和失望，去体会毫无价值或“不够好”所带来的伤痛。
逃避这种伤痛就会造成你的抗拒心态。一旦你愿意去体会这种伤痛，这种心态就消失了。你就能释怀了。
比如，罗伯特有一种会失去他妻子简的恐惧。为了确保她不会离开，他紧抓着她不放。这种行为导致他与妻子渐行渐远。罗伯特害怕失去简，因为如果她离开了，他就会觉得自己不值得被爱。为了避免这份伤痛，他不愿放手。
一旦他愿意接受这份伤痛，失去简的感觉就不会总缠着他。他不再需要紧抓不放，而是能够接受她的离开。此时，他们之间的相处方式就会改变。他不再纠缠，而是开始珍惜她。简也体会到了自己是如此被爱着，而且这份爱毫无负担，就不再想离开了。
这就是发生在生活中的事。有时候坦然会让你的生活越来越好。你不可能总是得到你想要的，但你总是能保持内心的潇洒自如。你可以恢复内心的平和与自身的能力，就可以打造一个令你满意的生活。
Love Your Life 热爱生活
Henry David Thoreau 亨利·戴维·梭罗
However mean your life is，meet it and live it；do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults in paradise. Love your life， poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant，thrilling，glorious hours，even in a poor-house. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man‘s abode； the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there，and have as cheering thoughts， as in a palace. The town’s poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any. Maybe they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving. Most think that they are above being supported by the town；but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means，which should be more disreputable. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb，like sage. Do not trouble yourselfmuch to get new things，whether clothes or friends. Turn the old，return to them. Things do not change；we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
生活就是怀着感恩的心珍惜拥有的每一天。
参考翻译（段灵芝）
无论你的生活多么不如意，你要面对它，不要躲避它，更别用恶言咒骂它。它不像你那样坏。在你最富有的时候，它倒是看似最穷。爱找缺点的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺点。要爱你的生活，无论贫富。即使身在一个济贫院里，你也会有愉快、激动、光荣的时候。夕阳反射在济贫院的窗上像反射在富贵人家的窗上一样光亮，在那门前，积雪同在早春融化。我只看到，一个从容的人，在哪里都像在皇宫中一样，生活得心满意足而富有乐观的思想。城镇中的穷人，我看，倒往往过着最独立不羁的生活。也许因为他们很伟大，所以受之无愧。大多数人以为他们是超然的，不靠城镇来支援；可事实上往往却是他们也逃不开利用不正当的手段来对付生活，毋宁说是不体面的。像圣人一样视贫穷如园中之花去耕植它吧！不要让自己疲于寻求新的花样，无论是新的朋友或新的衣服。珍惜旧的，回归到已拥有的。万物不变，是我们在变。你的衣服可以卖掉，但要保留你的思想。
Do Things for Himself 做真正的自己
As a little boy，there was nothing I liked better than Sunday afternoons at my grandfather‘s farm in western Pennsylvania. Surrounded by miles of winding stonewalls，the house and barn provided endless hours of fun for a city kid like me. I was used to neat as a pin parlors that seemed to whisper，“Not to be touched！”
I can still remember one afternoon when I was eight years old. Since my first visit to the farm，I’d wanted more than anything to be allowed to climb the stonewalls surrounding the property. My parents would never approve. The walls were old；some stones were missing，others loose and crumbing. Still，my yearning to scramble across those walls grew so strong that finally，one spring afternoon，I summoned all my courage and entered the living room，where the adults had gathered after Sunday dinner.
“I，uh，I want to climb the stonewalls，”I said hesitantly. Everyone looked up.“Can I climb the stone walls？”Instantly a chorus went upfrom the women in the room.“Heavens，no！”they cried in dismay， “You‘ll hurt yourself！”I wasn’t too disappointed；the response was just as I‘d expected. But before I could leave the room，I was stopped by my grandfather’s booming voice.“Now hold on just a minute，”I heard him say，“Let the boy climbs the stone walls. He has to learn to do things for himself.”
“Scoot，”he said to me with a wink，“and come and see me when you get back.”For the next two and a half hours I climbed those old walls and had the time of my life. Later I met with my grandfather to tell him about my adventure. I‘ll never forget what he said.“Fred，”he said， grinning，“you made this day a special day just by being yourself. Always remember，there’s only one person in this whole world like you，and I like you exactly as you are.”
Many years have passed since then，and today I host the television program Mister Roger‘s Neighborhood，seen by millions of children throughout America. There have been changes over the years，but one thing remains the same：my message to children at the end of almost every visit.“There’s only one person in this whole world like you，”the kids can count on hearing me say，“And people can like you exactly as you are.”
永远记住：整个世界，你独一无二，我喜欢你是怎样就怎样。
参考翻译（胡尊艳）
小时候，我最喜欢在宾夕法尼亚州西部爷爷的农场上度过每一个周日的下午。由绵延数英里的石头墙围着的房屋和谷仓，给我这个城市里生活的孩子带来了无尽的乐趣。我习惯了城市里整洁无比的客厅，它们似乎在说：“不许乱动！”
