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第18章 which shall it be?

"which shall it be? which shall it be?" i looked at john-john looked at me.

(dear, patient john, who loves me yet, as well as though my locks were jet.) and when i found that i must speak,my v0ice seemed strangely low and weak. "tell me again what robert said,"and then i, listening, bent my head.

"this is his letter: "i will give

a house and land while you shall live, if, in return, from out your seven, one child to me for aye is given.""i looked at john"s old garments worn, i thought of all that john had borne of poverty, and work, and care,which i, though willing, could not share;of seven hungry mouths to feed, of seven little children"s need,and then of this. "come, john," said i,"we"ll choose among them as they lie asleep"; so, walking hand in hand, dear john and i surveyed our band. first to the cradle lightly stepped, where lilian, the baby, slept;her damp curls lay, like gold alight, a glory "gainst the pillow white; softly her father stooped to layhis rough hand down in loving way, when dream or whisper made her stir, and huskily he said, "not her."we stooped beside the trundle-bed1, and one long ray the lamplight shed athwart2 the boyish faces there,in sleep so pitiful and fair.

i saw on jamie"s rough, red cheek,

a tear undried; ere john could speak, "he"s but a baby, too," said i,and kissed him as we hurried by.

pale, patient robby"s angel face

still in his sleep bore suffering"s trace; "no, for a thousand crowns, not him,"he whispered, while our eyes were dim.

1trundle-bed: a low bed mounted on trundles, or small wheels, so that it can be trundled about.

2athwart: across.

poor dick! sad dick! our wayward son, turbulent1, reckless, idle one,- could he be spared? nay, he who gave bids us befriend him to the grave.

"only a mother"s heart can be patient enough with such as he;and so," said john, "i would not dare to send him from her bedside prayer." then stole we softly up above,and knelt by mary, child of love; "perhaps for her "twould better be," i said to john. quite silentlyhe lifted up a curl that lay across her cheek in wilful way,and shook his head: "nay, love, not thee";the while my heart beat audibly2. only one more, our eldest lad, trusty and truthful, good and glad,- so like his father:"no, john, no;i cannot, will not, let him go!"and so we wrote, in courteous way, we could not give one child away; and afterwards toil lighter seemed,1 turbulent: restless ; disobedient. 2 audibly: so that it could be heard.

thinking of that of which we dreamed; happy, in truth, that not one facewe missed from its accustomed place; thankful to work for all the seven, trusting them all to one in heaven.

anonymous

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