She now became quite happy.The motor-car ran on, the afternoon was soft and dim.She talked with lively interest, analysing people and their motives--Gudrun, Gerald.He answered vaguely.He was not very much interested any more in personalities and in people--people were all different, but they were all enclosed nowadays in a definite limitation, he said; there were only about two great ideas, two great streams of activity remaining, with various forms of reaction therefrom.The reactions were all varied in various people, but they followed a few great laws, and intrinsically there was no difference.They acted and reacted involuntarily according to a few great laws, and once the laws, the great principles, were known, people were no longer mystically interesting.They were all essentially alike, the differences were only variations on a theme.None of them transcended the given terms.
Ursula did not agree--people were still an adventure to her--but--perhaps not as much as she tried to persuade herself.Perhaps there was something mechanical, now, in her interest.Perhaps also her interest was destructive, her analysing was a real tearing to pieces.There was an under-space in her where she did not care for people and their idiosyncracies, even to destroy them.She seemed to touch for a moment this undersilence in herself, she became still, and she turned for a moment purely to Birkin.
`Won't it be lovely to go home in the dark?' she said.`We might have tea rather late--shall we?--and have high tea? Wouldn't that be rather nice?'
`I promised to be at Shortlands for dinner,' he said.
`But--it doesn't matter--you can go tomorrow--'
`Hermione is there,' he said, in rather an uneasy voice.`She is going away in two days.I suppose I ought to say good-bye to her.I shall never see her again.'
Ursula drew away, closed in a violent silence.He knitted his brows, and his eyes began to sparkle again in anger.
`You don't mind, do you?' he asked irritably.
`No, I don't care.Why should I? Why should I mind?' Her tone was jeering and offensive.
`That's what I ask myself,' he said; `why should you mind! But you seem to.' His brows were tense with violent irritation.
`I assure you I don't, I don't mind in the least.Go where you belong--it's what I want you to do.'
`Ah you fool!' he cried, `with your "go where you belong." It's finished between Hermione and me.She means much more to you , if it comes to that, than she does to me.For you can only revolt in pure reaction from her--and to be her opposite is to be her counterpart.'
`Ah, opposite!' cried Ursula.`I know your dodges.I am not taken in by your word-twisting.You belong to Hermione and her dead show.Well, if you do, you do.I don't blame you.But then you've nothing to do with me.
In his inflamed, overwrought exasperation, he stopped the car, and they sat there, in the middle of the country lane, to have it out.It was a crisis of war between them, so they did not see the ridiculousness of their situation.
`If you weren't a fool, if only you weren't a fool,' he cried in bitter despair, `you'd see that one could be decent, even when one has been wrong.
I was wrong to go on all those years with Hermione -- it was a deathly process.But after all, one can have a little human decency.But no, you would tear my soul out with your jealousy at the very mention of Hermione's name.'
`I jealous! I -- jealous! You are mistaken if you think that.I'm not jealous in the least of Hermione, she is nothing to me, not that! ' And Ursula snapped her fingers.`No, it's you who are a liar.
It's you who must return, like a dog to his vomit.It is what Hermione stands for that I hate.I hate it.It is lies, it is false, it is death.But you want it, you can't help it, you can't help yourself.You belong to that old, deathly way of living -- then go back to it.But don't come to me, for I've nothing to do with it.'
And in the stress of her violent emotion, she got down from the car and went to the hedgerow, picking unconsciously some flesh-pink spindleberries, some of which were burst, showing their orange seeds.
`Ah, you are a fool,' he cried, bitterly, with some contempt.
`Yes, I am.I am a fool.And thank God for it.I'm too big a fool to swallow your cleverness.God be praised.You go to your women --go to them -- they are your sort -- you've always had a string of them trailing after you -- and you always will.Go to your spiritual brides -- but don't come to me as well, because I'm not having any, thank you.
You're not satisfied, are you? Your spiritual brides can't give you what you want, they aren't common and fleshy enough for you, aren't they? So you come to me, and keep them in the background! You will marry me for daily use.But you'll keep yourself well provided with spiritual brides in the background.I know your dirty little game.' Suddenly a flame ran over her, and she stamped her foot madly on the road, and he winced, afraid that she would strike him.`And I, I'm not spiritual enough, I'm not as spiritual as that Hermione --!' Her brows knitted, her eyes blazed like a tiger's.`Then go to her, that's all I say, go to her, go.
Ha, she spiritual -- spiritual , she! A dirty materialist as she is.She spiritual? What does she care for, what is her spirituality?
What is it?' Her fury seemed to blaze out and burn his face.He shrank a little.`I tell you it's dirt, dirt, and nothing but dirt.And it's dirt you want, you crave for it.Spiritual! Is that spiritual, her bullying, her conceit, her sordid materialism? She's a fishwife, a fishwife, she is such a materialist.And all so sordid.What does she work out to, in the end, with all her social passion, as you call it.Social passion -- what social passion has she? -- show it me! -- where is it?
