He was frankly shocked by the Chapel."That's not the way to get into heaven," he said."We must be more patient than that.The daily round, the daily task, that's the kind."His physical presence began to pervade all her doings.He was not handsome, but so clean, so rosy, and so strong.No mystery about him, no terrors, no invasions from the devil.Everything was clear and certain.He knew just where he was and exactly whither he was going.One afternoon, when they were out in the motor together, he took Maggie's hand under the rug and he held it so calmly, so firmly, with so kindly a benevolence that she could not be frightened or uncomfortable.He was like a large friendly brother...
One day he called her Maggie.He blushed and laughed."I'm so sorry," he said."It slipped out.I caught it from Katherine.""Oh, please,...never mind," she answered."Miss Cardinal's so stiff.""Then you must call me Paul," he said.
A little conversation that Maggie had after this with Millicent showed her in sharp relief exactly where she stood in relation to the Trenchard family.They had been out in the motor together.
Millie had been shopping and now they were rolling back through the Park.
"Are you happy with us, Maggie?" Millicent suddenly asked.
"Very happy," Maggie answered.
"Well, I hope you are," said Millicent."I don't think that as a family we're very good at ****** any one happy except ourselves.Ithink we're very selfish."
"No, I don't think you're selfish," said Maggie, "but I think you're sufficient for yourselves.I don't fancy you really want any one from outside.""No, I don't think the others do.I do though.You don't suppose I'm going to stay in the Trenchard bosom for ever, do you? I'm not, Iassure you.But what you've said means that you don't really feel at home with us.""I don't think I want to feel at home with you," Maggie answered."Idon't belong to any of you.Contrast us, for instance.You've got everything--good looks, money, cleverness, position.You can get what you like out of life.I've got nothing.I'm plain, poor, awkward, uneducated--and yet you know I wouldn't change places with any one.I'd rather be myself than any one alive.""Yes, you would," said Millicent, nodding her head."That's you all over.I felt it the moment you came into the house.You're adventurous.We're not.Katherine was adventurous for a moment when she married Philip, but she soon slipped back again.But you'll do just what you want to always.""I shall have to," said Maggie, laughing."There's no one else to do it for me.It isn't only that I don't belong to you--I've never belonged to any one, only one person--and he's gone now.I belong to him--and he'll never come back.""Were you frightfully in love?" asked Millie, deeply interested.
"Yes," said Maggie.
"He oughtn't to have gone away like that," said Millicent.
"Yes, he ought," said Maggie."He was quite right.But don't let's bother about that.I've got to find some place now where I can work.
The worst of it is I'm so ignorant.But there must be something that I ran do.""There's Paul," said Millie.
"What do you mean?" asked Maggie.
"Oh, he cares like anything for you.You must have noticed.It began after the first time he met you.He was always asking about you.Of course every one's noticed it.""Cares for me," Maggie repeated.
"Yes, of course.He's wanted to marry for a long time.Tired of Grace bossing him, I expect.That doesn't sound very polite to you, but I know that he cares for you apart from that--for yourself, Imean.And I expect Grace is tired of housekeeping."Maggie's feelings were very strange.Why should he care about her?
Did she want him to care? A strange friendly feeling stole about her heart.She was not alone then, after all.Some one wanted her, wanted her so obviously that every one had noticed it--did not want her as Martin had wanted her, against his own will and judgment.If he did offer her his home what would she feel?
There was rest there, rest and a real home, a home that she had never in all her life known.Of course she did not love him in the least.His approach did not make her pulses beat a moment faster, she did not long for him to come when he was not there--but he wanted her! That was the great thing.He wanted her!
"Of course if he asked you, you wouldn't really think of marrying him?" said Millicent.
"I don't know," said Maggie slowly.
"What! Marry him and live in Skeaton!" Millicent was frankly amazed.
"Why, Skeaton's awful, and the people in it are awful, and Grace is awful.In the summer it's all nigger-minstrels and bathing-tents, and in the winter there isn't a soul--" Millicent shivered.
Maggie smiled."Of course it seems dull to you, but my life's been very different.It hasn't been very exciting, and if I could really help him--" she broke off."I do like him," she said."He's the kindest man I've ever met.Of course he seems dull to you who have met all kinds of brilliant people.I hate brilliant people."The car was in Bryanston Square.Just before it stopped Millie bent over and kissed Maggie.
"I think you're a darling," she said.
But Millie didn't think Maggie "a darling" for long--that is, she did not think about her at all for long; none of the family did.
