"And that," said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest of his listeners, "was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'
"So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house.
About every respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of the billiard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n't invited.
"Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin' about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, Honorable Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up, and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas to belong to the members to do what they pleased with--no strings tied to it at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such matter. Now, who favored such a club as that?
"Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justice of the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he made a talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, who is postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives,' had been fidgetin' in his seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every 'Progressive' jines immediate.
But the billiard-roomers; they didn't jine. They looked sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begun to hint p'inted in their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. And right then I'd ought to have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in my head, I guess likely.
"Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammer and tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, and inside of three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now I tell you. There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusement room.' The amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and the like of that. Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you could play the pianner and sing--till the sufferin' got acute and somebody come along and abated you.
"When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be 'Good-by, Bill,' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty old shanty for sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if I didn't feel sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop around and sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham's pretty good company.
"I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple of patients cruelize the pool table.
"'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid of catchin' somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow.
And a cigar, won't you?'
"I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had experience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled.
"'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says.
'Terbacker does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
"We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped.
"'What's up?' says I.
"'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that's all. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart.
Well, Bailey,' he adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'
"'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
"'Finest ever I see,' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there.'
"'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'
"'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is--'specially the free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would.'
"I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
"He nodded. 'Yup,' says he. 'I told him.'
"I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked.
"'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up my head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his club knocked out t'other.'
"I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
"'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham, even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here and start somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town.'
"He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Then he laid his hand on my sleeve.
"'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe was all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patent medicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some of the patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went home for the night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally they got so busy fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' no better fast, and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', and got the pay.'
"'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
"'Nothin',' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. So long. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable element can't see you.'
"I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and says I:
"'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect the officers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressives resign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. As for the billiard-roomers--providin' any jine--they've never been known to vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet--nothin' but fog.'
"He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right,' says he. 'Fisher and I have planned that. You watch!'
"Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twas out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all hands was satisfied. Two vice presidents was named--one bein' Bassett and t'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a head Progressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms. ONLY none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish we was really tryin' for.
"'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'd have on all kinds of bait--suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights, and the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'.
