Windsor. Before PAGE's house. Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS SHALLOW Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. SLENDER In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and 'Coram.' SHALLOW Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum. SLENDER Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.' SHALLOW Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. SLENDER All his successors gone before him hath done't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. SHALLOW It is an old coat. SIR HUGH EVANS The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. SHALLOW The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. SLENDER I may quarter, coz. SHALLOW You may, by marrying. SIR HUGH EVANS It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. SHALLOW Not a whit. SIR HUGH EVANS Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my ****** conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you. SHALLOW The council shall bear it; it is a riot. SIR HUGH EVANS It is not meet the council hear a riot;there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. SHALLOW Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. SIR HUGH EVANS It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it:
there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity. SLENDER Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. SIR HUGH EVANS It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
--give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. SLENDER Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? SIR HUGH EVANS Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. SLENDER I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. SIR HUGH EVANS Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts. SHALLOW Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? SIR HUGH EVANS Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, Ibeseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. Iwill peat the door for Master Page.
Knocks What, hoa! Got pless your house here! PAGE [Within] Who's there?
Enter PAGE SIR HUGH EVANS Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. PAGE I am glad to see your worships well.
I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. SHALLOW Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better;it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and Ithank you always with my heart, la! with my heart. PAGE Sir, I thank you. SHALLOW Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. PAGE I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. SLENDER How does your fallow greyhound, sir? Iheard say he was outrun on Cotsall. PAGE It could not be judged, sir. SLENDER You'll not confess, you'll not confess. SHALLOW That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;'tis a good dog. PAGE A cur, sir. SHALLOW Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog:
can there be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here? PAGE Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. SIR HUGH EVANS It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. SHALLOW He hath wronged me, Master Page. PAGE Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. SHALLOW If it be confessed, it is not redress'd:
is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. PAGE Here comes Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL FALSTAFF Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? SHALLOW Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. FALSTAFF But not kissed your keeper's daughter? SHALLOW Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. FALSTAFF I will answer it straight; I have done all this.
That is now answered. SHALLOW The council shall know this. FALSTAFF 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:
you'll be laughed at. SIR HUGH EVANS Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. FALSTAFF Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, Ibroke your head: what matter have you against me? SLENDER Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. BARDOLPH You Banbury cheese! SLENDER Ay, it is no matter. PISTOL How now, Mephostophilus! SLENDER Ay, it is no matter. NYM Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour. SLENDER Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin? SIR HUGH EVANS Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand.
