狗的自述
Chapter I
（第一章）
My father was a St. Bernard， my mother was a collie collie n.［动］牧羊狗(一种高大聪敏长毛的牧羊狗)， but I am a Presbyterian. This is what my mother told me， I do not know these nice distinctions myself. To me they are only fine large words meaning nothing. My mother had a fondness for such， she liked to say them， and see other dogs look surprised and envious envious adj.嫉妒的， 羡慕的， as wondering how she got so much education. But， indeed， it was not real education. It was only show： she got the words by listening in the diningroom and drawingroom when there was company， and by going with the children to Sundayschool and listening there. And whenever she heard a large word she said it over to herself many times， and so was able to keep it until there was a dogmatic dogmatic adj.教条的， 独断的 gathering in the neighborhood， then she would get it off， and surprise and distress distress n.悲痛， 穷困， 不幸， 危难， 忧伤 v.使悲痛，使穷困， 使忧伤 them all， from pocketpup to mastiff， which rewarded her for all her trouble. If there was a stranger he was nearly sure to be suspicious， and when he got his breath again he would ask her what it meant. And she always told him. He was never expecting this but thought he would catch her， so when she told him， he was the one that looked ashamed， whereas he had thought it was going to be she. The others were always waiting for this， and glad of it and proud of her， for they knew what was going to happen， because they had had experience. When she told the meaning of a big word they were all so taken up with admiration that it never occurred to any dog to doubt if it was the right one. And that was natural， because， for one thing， she answered up so promptly promptly adv.敏捷地， 迅速地 that it seemed like a dictionary speaking， and for another thing， where could they find out whether it was right or not？ For she was the only cultivated dog there was. By and by， when I was older， she brought home the word Unintellectual， one time， and worked it pretty hard all the week at different gatherings， making much unhappiness and despondency despondency n.失去勇气， 失望. And it was at this time that I noticed that during that week she was asked for the meaning at eight different assemblages assemblage n.与会者(集合称)， 集合， 集会， 装配， and flashed out a fresh definition every time， which showed me that she had more presence of mind than culture， though I said nothing， of course. She had one word which she always kept on hand， and ready， like a lifepreserver， a kind of emergency word to strap on when she was likely to get washed overboard in a sudden way—that was the word Synonymous. When she happened to fetch out a long word which had had its day weeks before and its prepared meanings gone to her dumppile， if there was a stranger there of course it knocked him groggygroggy adj.酒醉的， 东歪西倒的， 摇摇晃晃的， 头昏眼花的 for a couple of minutes， then he would come to， and by that time she would be away down wind on another tack tack n.大头钉， 粗缝， 行动方针， 食物 vt.以大头针钉住，附加 vi.抢风航行， 作文字形移动， and not expecting anything. So when hed hail and ask her to cash in， I (the only dog on the inside of her game) could see her canvas flicker a moment—but only just a moment—then it would belly out taut and full， and she would say， as calm as a summers day，“Its synonymous with supererogation supererogation n.额外的努力， 职责以外的工作”， or some godless long reptile of a word like that， and go placidly about and skim away on the next tack， perfectly comfortable， you know， and leave that stranger looking profane profane adj.亵渎的 v.亵渎 and embarrassed， and the initiated slatting the floor with their tails in unison and their faces transfigured with a holy joy.
我的父亲是个“圣伯尔纳种”，我的母亲是个“柯利种”，可是我是个“长老会教友”。我母亲是这样给我说的。这些微妙的区别我自己并不知道。在我看起来，这些名称都不过是些派头十足可是毫无意义的字眼。我母亲很爱这一套。她喜欢说这些，还喜欢看看别的狗显出惊讶和忌妒的神气，好像在惊讶她为什么受过这么多教育似的。可是这其实并不是什么真正的教育，不过是故意卖弄罢了：她是在吃饭的屋子里和会客室里有人谈话的时候在旁边听，又和孩子们到主日学校去，在那儿听，才把这些名词学会的。每逢她听到了一些深奥的字眼，她就翻来覆去地背好几遍，所以她能把它们记住，等后来在附近一带开起讲学问的会来，她就把它们搬出来唬人，叫别的狗通通吃一惊，而且不好受，从小狗儿一直到猛狗都让她唬住了，这就使她没有枉费那一番心血。要是有外人，他差不多一定要怀疑起来，他在大吃一惊、喘过气来之后，就要问她那是什么意思。她每次都答复人家。这是他绝没有料得到的，原来他以为可以把她难住，所以她给他解释之后，他反而显得很难为情，虽然他原来还以为难为情的会是她。其他的狗都等着这个结局，而且很高兴，很替她得意，因为他们都有过经验，早知道结局会是怎样。她把一串深奥字眼的意思告诉人家的时候，大家都羡慕得要命，随便哪只狗也不会想到怀疑这个解释究竟对不对。这也是很自然的，因为第一呢，她回答得非常快，就好像是字典说起话来了似的，还有呢，他们上哪儿去弄得清楚这究竟对不对呀？因为有教养的狗就只有她一个，后来我长大一些的时候，有一次她把“缺乏智力”这几个字记熟了，并且在整整一个星期里的各种集会上拼命地卖弄，使人很难受、很丧气。就是那一次，我发现在那一个星期之内，她在八个不同的集会上被人问到这几个字的意思，每次她都冲口而出地说了一个新的解释，这就使我看出了她与其说是有学问，还不如说是沉得住气，不过我当然并没有说什么。她有一个名词经常现成地挂在嘴上，像个救命圈似的，用来应付紧急关头，有时候猛不提防她有了被冲下船去的危险，她就把它套在身上——那就是“同义词”这个名词。当她碰巧搬出几个星期以前卖弄过的一串深奥的字眼来，可是她把原来准备的解释忘到九霄云外去了的时候，要是有个生客在场，那当然就要被她弄得头昏眼花，过一两分钟之后才清醒过来，这时候她可是调转了方向，又顺着风往另外一段路程上飘出去了，料不到会有什么问题，所以客人忽然招呼她，请她解释解释的时候，我就看得出她的帆篷松了一会儿劲（我是惟一明白她那套把戏的底细的狗）——可是那也只耽搁了一会儿——然后马上就鼓起了风，鼓得满满的，她就像夏天那样平静地说道，“那是‘额外工作’的同义词”，或是说出与此类似的吓坏人的一长串字，说罢就逍遥自在地走开，轻飘飘地又赶另一段路程去了。她简直是非常称心如意，你知道吧，她把那位生客摔在那儿，显得土头土脑、狼狈不堪，那些内行就一致把尾巴在地板上敲，他们脸上也改变了神气，显出一副欢天喜地的样子。
And it was the same with phrases. She would drag home a whole phrase， if it had a grand sound， and play it six nights and two matinees matinee n.白天举行的音乐会， 妇女便装之一种， and explain it a new way every time—which she had to， for all she cared for was the phrase； she wasnt interested in what it meant， and knew those dogs hadnt wit enough to catch her， anyway. Yes， she was a daisy daisy n.雏菊， 第一流的， 一流的人物！ She got so she wasnt afraid of anything， she had such confidence in the ignorance of those creatures creature n.人， 动物， 傀儡， 创造物. She even brought anecdotes that she had heard the family and the dinnerguests laugh and shout over. And as a rule she got the nub of one chestnut hitched onto another chestnut， where， of course， it didnt fit and hadnt any point. And when she delivered the nub she fell over and rolled on the floor and laughed and barked in the most insane way， while I could see that she was wondering to herself why it didnt seem as funny as it did when she first heard it. But no harm was done. The others rolled and barked too， privately ashamed of themselves for not seeing the point， and never suspecting suspect n.嫌疑犯 adj.令人怀疑的， 不可信的， 可疑的 v.怀疑， 猜想， 对……有所觉察 that the fault was not with them and there wasnt any to see.
