During my first few months in China I felt like amputated. Nothing， absolutely nothing， not the least midget I could catch without an interpretor. No check-in in the hotel， not one order in a restaurant， not a small purchase of fruit on the street， apart from such “transactions” that were done with hands and feet.
It was obvious when I rented an apartment： The life and work here I cannot persevere if I will not at least learn a little bit of Chinese. And anyway I want to know the country and its people better and not only to work like an outsider and guest here， but “immerse” as well – and that is only possible when learning the language.
I bought books and computer programmes and kept stumbling along the first few difficult steps： the phonetic transcription system (pin yin)， sounds and intonation of otherwise identically written syllables， fundamentals of the (relatively simple) grammar and the first Chinese characters.
For the holiday week centred around 1 May I am finally booking a crash course in a Mandarin school： five days， five hours a day， a teacher just for me. It is expensive. She is surprised that I want to learn the Chinese characters， too (“But the other foreigners don’t want that， and it is very complicated！”)， yet I insist. And as I have already developed some of the basics myself， we are making good progress.
Enough！ I want to have two hours training once a week， but it’s only possible on weekends， I would prefer Sunday morning. The private school offers me two possible dates， either Wednesday at 3 p. m. or Friday at 11 o’clock， “then most of the aliens have already left for the weekend – you don’t？” No， I am not leaving for the weekend Fridays at 11 o’clock， indeed not before 8 or 9 o’clock in the evening. During the week my working days take more than 12 hours， not rarely up to 16 hours. And often I am with clients on Saturday mornings or working through subjects left unaddressed.
I cannot participate on Wednesday or Friday in a Chinese language course. So for now I have to try advancing by autodidactic lessons. But it does not work， I am making hardly any progress.
Finally， about two years after my one-week crash-course in May， I discover in a store where I am often buying a print inviting to a private Chinese language course in my home area！ I call the lady， LiLin， and she is willing to give me lessons on Sunday mornings.
This works well for two years. I am her most faithful student. All the students set out with enthusiasm， no one except me wants to learn the characters， too， most of them falter after three or four months. First， the hours are scheduled less often (“I have too much work to do！”)， then they cease altogether. The initial euphoria turns quickly into disappointment when after the first advance further progress comes more slowly. Thus says LiLin， and she knows， she has taught aliens for many years in Chinese.
I can somehow understand the frustration when starting to learn Chinese. You think you have reached a certain first low but at least now finally somehow useful level. So I did. My football team captain had sent me a short message， according to which the next game would be on field No 4 of which football field area. I was in the very early phases of studying Chinese.
So I prepared the first phrases which I would ever express myself in Chinese. I intensively prepared at home before setting of on my bike， I carefully wrote it Chinese and PinYin， and spoke outloud very often. During the bike ride to the football field， I was reciting nothing else than this phrase： “球场四号码在哪里？” qiúch.ng sì hàom. zài n.li？” – “Where is field No. 4？” (because I correctly expected I there may not be any field number signs or a field map.)
When arriving， I felt being almost a half-Chinese already myself， because I could safely recite this phrase now in proper tones. So I approached the first one I saw sitting right besides the first field I saw. I recited my perfect Mandarin phrase， hundreds of times repeated and perfected. This guy answered (without any noticeable accent)： “Sorry， I do not understand English.”
I repeated my well-trained phrase， but he insisted by saying “Sorry， I do not understand English.” until a friend of his sitting nearby said in Chinese “但是他说中文 dànshì tā shuō zhōngwén！” – “but he is talking in Chinese！” (which I understood all of a sudden， it was the first complete phrase in Chinese which I had ever fully understood！). Then his mouth and ears stood wide open in surprise， started laughing and told me where field No. 4 was.
When foreigners are speaking Chinese， very often the Chinese do not understand them， partially because the intonation is simply wrong or would lead to misunderstandings， but more because they do not expect the foreigner to be able to speak Chinese. Then anyway it would not sound as real Chinese so they assume it is English what the foreigner is talking.
I do not understand why many other aliens do not want to learn Chinese at all， they would not even try. No question， it’s exhausting， it’s completely different from any European language. But if you are living here you would at least want to say or understand something， if only the most primitive basics？
One of our customers is a joint venture of an Italian and an American company. The son of the Italian “Cheffe” or boss lives with his family in China， establishing the joint venture. We get to know each other at various business meetings， find by accident that we are both football aficionados， and he invites me to a football game. He is living in a settlement where only aliens are dwelling， we are playing there on a small pitch， seven vs. seven， not a single Chinese but only Italians， Scandinavians， French， but no German except for me (and everybody is much younger than I).
He is a very good and aggressive player， trying at all costs to dunk goals against me but fails for a long time because in the tiny goal matching the tiny pitch I am even better than in the large goals， but eventually he succeeds. At least one goal thus I allow him to pass (not on purpose， obviously). So we are both satisfied at the end and having fun. After the game， I wonder how he gets along with his family in China. Initial attempts by his wife to learn Chinese soon faltered， “We do not have enough time， there is too much business with the children， etc.！”
