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第23章 优于过去的自己 (9)

Instead of blowing away with the wind, they arose against it to achieve great heights. They shook and pulled, but the restraining string and the cumbersome tail kept them in tow, facing upward and against the wind. As the kites struggled and trembled against the string, they seemed to say, "Let me go! Let me go! I want to be free!" They soared beautifully even as they fought the restriction of the string. Finally, one of the kites succeeded in breaking loose. "Free at last," it seemed to say. "Free to fly with the wind."

Yet freedom from restraint simply put it at the mercy of an unsympathetic breeze1. It fluttered ungracefully to the ground and landed in a tangled mass of weeds and string against a dead bush. "Free at last", free to lie powerless in the dirt, to be blown helplessly along the ground, and to lodge2 lifeless against the first obstruction.

How much like kites we sometimes are. The heaven gives us adversity and restrictions, rules to follow from which we can grow and gain strength. Restraint is a necessary counterpart3 to the winds of opposition. Some of us tug at the rules so hard that we never soar to reach the heights we might have obtained. We keep part of the commandment and never rise high enough to get our tails off the ground.

Let us each rise to the great heights, recognizing that some of the restraints that we may chafe4 under are actually the steadying force that helps us ascend and achieve.

一个春风拂面的日子,一群年轻人正在放风筝。天空中满是颜色、形状和大小各异的风筝,犹如穿梭飞舞着的漂亮鸟儿。强劲有力的风吹着风筝,牵引线控制着风筝。

风筝并不随风而去,而是迎风飞往高处。风的劲吹使它们摇晃着、扯拉着,但牵引线和笨重的尾翼让它们始终处于控制之中。它们挣扎着、抖动着,似乎在说:“放开我!放开我!我要自由!”就在与风筝线抗争之时,它们也依然优雅地飞翔着。终于,其中一只风筝成功地挣脱了线的束缚,好像在说:“终于自由了,终于可以随风自由飞翔了。”

然而,没有束缚的自由让它完全处于风的无情摆布之下。它笨拙地坠落到地面,落在一堆乱草之中,线也缠在一丛枯死的灌木上。“终于自由了”——自由到无力地躺在泥土中,自由到无助地任由风吹得满世界跑,自由到撞到第一个障碍物就搁浅,毫无生气可言。

有时候,我们与风筝是多么相似啊!上天让我们经历逆境,体验束缚,并定下规则约束我们,是让我们从中成长起来,获得人生所需的力量。逆风而行时,束缚是不可或缺的。有些人强硬地抵制这些规则,那就永远也飞不到本可以达到的高度。只遵从部分规则,我们决不可能飞得很高。

每个人都飞往高处吧,同时也要认识到——某些令人恼怒的约束,实际上,是帮助我们攀升、飞跃和达成目标的强大力量。

期待是沉默的杀手

Loneliness

佚名 / Anonymous

A man is known by the company he keeps they say. If it is so, then everyone is bound to have their baggage of loneliness with them as companions. Loneliness is not something that doesn' t exist at all with any human being on earth. Every human being feels lonely in his life at some point or other. It' s but natural to have such feelings, because that' s what makes us all human and that is why we are as we are now.

If we shed some light on why we feel aloof or lonely at times, we would be very much astonished1 or even probably surprised by the results. We ourselves are responsible for our self-defined gloominess. This is because at times we really feel that we are uncared for or feel someone doesn' t understand us.

Sometimes we over analyze2 real life situations and have this growing sense of self pity inside us. This feeling always gives us thoughts which picturize us always receiving the wrong end of the stick in life. The truth might not always be true if we touch our heart and see. Its just that our expectations in life and from people around us or circumstances that we are facing, have got the better of us. Expectation is the silent killer which murders millions of mushy and time tested relationships. If there would have been no expectations from anyone, the world would have been a much better place to be. If there would have been no expectations, not many people would have had an aching heart and a life long grouse3 against there would have been better halves. If it wouldn' t have been for unreasonable expectations not many couples would have divorced each other.

How to come out of expectations then? Good question. The answer is when you give something, don' t expect anything in return. When our mother gave birth to us, she never expected that we will give birth to her. She has just fulfilled her desire to raise a family and live for them. In the same way, let our actions make us live for ourself and let not expectation screw up the major portion4 of your lives. Let us have the freedom and will power to express our love, affection and longingness for people whenever we feel. Let us not restrict our freedom of expression just because he or she is not responding the way we want them to.

Well all in all a little bit of loneliness is good for a self-analysis to keep a check over your actions. Introspection always makes you communicate with the innerself. But too much of introspection can make you scale the altitude of self pity. So show restrain at the right time.

人们说,一个人总会被他周边的人所了解,若果真如此,每个人都一定会有与孤独为伴之时。每个人都会有孤独感,在一生中的某个时刻倍感孤独。有这样的感觉很自然,正是这种感觉使我们称其为人,并塑造了现在的我们。

若我们洞悉孤独感产生的原因,其结果会出乎我们的意料,甚至会令我们吃惊。沮丧是我们自己造成的,有时我们的确有不被关心、不被理解的失落感。

我们分析情况有时会夸大事实,不免产生自怜之感。这种感觉常会使我们产生一种错觉。扪心自问,真相并非总是真实。它们仅仅是我们对周围的人和环境的一种理想的期待。期待是沉默的杀手,它使无数模糊的概念和人与人之间的关系历经时间的考验。倘若任何人都没有期待,世界将会更加美好。没有期待,就不会有那么多心痛之人,也就不会有一生之久的怨艾。如果没有那些不合理的期待,就不会有那么多的夫妻离异。

那么,如何摆脱期待呢?这是一个很好的问题。其答案是,当你给予别人某物时,不要期待得到回报。当母亲给予我们生命的时候,从未指望过我们也给她生命,她只是实现了拥有一个家庭并为家人而活的愿望。同样,不要让你生命中的大部分被期望所占据,让我们为自己而活。把我们的爱、感动与渴望尽量自由地表达出来。在没能得到我们所期待的回应时,也不要限制自己去自由地表达感情。

总之,略微的孤独感对自省是有益的。自省有助于你与心灵的交流。但过度自省,则会令我们有遗憾的感觉。所以,还是适度为好。

选择真理还是快乐

I Forgive You

佚名 / Anonymous

Let go of bitterness marriage isn' t the only relationship that needs forgiveness. It' s required with our children, friends, workmates, neighbors and even strangers. In fact, no human relationship can survive without the oxygen1 of forgiveness. It' s not an optional nicety for people who are into that kind of thing; it' s a universal necessity for relationships and for your own health and sanity.

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