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第10章 破茧的蝴蝶 (6)

While my friends who were majoring in biology and engineering lamented that professors held the male students in higher regard, I experienced the opposite situation. My professors, both men and women, consistently made comments about the superiority of the female students. I wasn’t about to argue, but the bias was obvious.

If I had been a conscientious defender of truth, I suppose I could have gone to the department chairman and complained about the bias was resulting in my elevated grade. But being the opportunist that I was, I enjoyed the ride. I didn’t slack off but I developed a sort of cocky confidence that I had never experienced in my first three years of college.

有些专业吸引更多的女性,而另一些专业吸引更多的男性。也许这是遗传基因预先安排好的,或者是性别偏见的教育造成的。作为坦普大学的一名新闻专业学生,我的同学多数是女性。女性比例虽没有占压倒优势,但接近65%。

我们所学课程都是具有挑战性的。教授们全是新闻领域里干了一辈子的职业工作者。从基本的概论课到高级课程,每个教授都督促我们写出较高质量的作品、注意文章的准确和细节描写以及语法的规范等。

到四年级时,我已经与系里的教授们建立起密切的关系。我是个勤奋的学生。我有时在地铁里做完作业,或是在上课前几分钟做完,一般每次都能得A。

有一位教授与每个学生会面讨论他们的长处和弱点,与我会面时只有热情的表扬。我被邀请辅导其他学生,对此我欣然应允。新闻系有人断定我是个最有前途的学生。我不知道是哪一位教授,但我确实有一位保护天使。后来,我注意到我们班里有几位女生跟我的经历相似。但我们班的男生们学得很吃力,几乎没有人取得好成绩。是性别歧视还是女生天生就是擅长于写作呢?我认为二者都在起作用。

我的主修生物学和工程学的朋友们,悲叹教授们重视男生,但我的情况却恰恰相反。我的教授不管是男是女,总是评价女生的优越性。我不会去争辩,但性别偏见显而易见。

如果我是真理的真正捍卫者,我想我可能要到系主任那里投诉造成我高分的性别偏见。但我是个机会主义者,我喜欢搭这种偏见的顺风车。我没有松懈,但我养成了一种大学前三年从没有过的骄傲自信的心态。

Nobody Wants to Cheat谁也不想作弊

I’ve cheated in school when I thought that I could get away with it. I’m not proud of it and I don’t usually feel very good about myself afterward, but sometimes it’s the only way possible to survive in a pressure cooker. My parents are really set on my getting good grades. They study my report card the same way they scrutinize the newspaper’s stock market page. And they make me feel that I’ve got to live up to their expectations.

I can’t remember my mother or father ever asking me about what I actually learned in school or if I enjoyed a particular subject. Instead, it’s always been, “How are you doing in geometry?” or “ How’d your English teacher like your paper?”

It’s hard to disappoint them. When my grades even begin to drop at all, I feel as though I’ve failed. It’s an awful feeling.

Some teachers are really rough. They’ll give tests containing at least one or two questions on materials we’ve never even covered in class. It’s not always possible to come out ahead.

I don’t think that most teachers understand how much we’re expected to produce. Or even what good grades and our class rank can mean to us. If you want to get into a really good college, you’ve got to have a top academic record. Without that, all the extracurricular activities you may have engaged in can mean nothing.

But often it’s like each teacher acts as if his is the only subject we have. They think nothing of piling on our homework or giving surprise quizzes. Sometimes we have to take two or three tests in different subjects on the same day. I’d like to see a lot of adults I know preparing for that.

When the work load becomes too difficult, some kids may resort to cheating. If you have three or four subjects to study for, you’re not going to be able to devote enough time to each subject in order to be well prepared for each class.

Nevertheless, you’re still expected to ace everything. And you’ll usually end up cheating in the classes you are least prepared for. Those usually turn out to be the subjects you don’t like or tend to do poorly in. It may be the only way left to live up to your parents’ expectations and compete with the top students in the class.

Everybody knows that if you cheat, it’s crucial not to get caught. Few things can cause more of an uproar. Once my older brother got caught cheating on a math final. My parents acted as though he’d committed a federal offense. The assistant principal called them to school, but although the incident sparked several conferences, I don’t think that anybody ever really understood what my brother was going through. We’re just supposed to perform exceptionally as well as always act honestly, but how many adults can actually live up to the standards they set for us?

My father has gotten countless traffic tickets for parking in no-parking zones or for not coming to a full stop at stop signs. And you’re always hearing about people who don’t file their income tax honestly. Sometimes they’re even admired for their cunning in cheating the IRS. How about all the corruption in government? Successful adults often accept dishonesty in order to achieve their business goals. Are kids the only ones who are supposed to be perfect?

Most of my friends have cheated on tests in school at one time or another. The kids who never cheat are usually either afraid of getting caught or just don’t know how to do it safely. Nobody wants to cheat. But if it’s a choice of being honest or of getting a grade, most kids will try for the A.That may sound wrong, but we didn’t make the rules, we’re just trying to get by.

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