As I was talking with Bill, a gentleman walked into the room. Bill began to cry and so did the gentleman. The gentleman leaned over the bed to embrace Bill. After a few moments the gentleman, Ken, said to me, “He’s my brother. We haven’t spoken in over 25 years.”
Caught by surprise by his comment, I said, “You’re kidding me?”
“No.” replied Ken. “We had an argument over a piece of property and have been estranged from each other.”
Bill said, “Ken, you haven’t met my children.”
Then Bill introduced his children to their uncle. I left the hospice unit thinking, there’s something wrong when we can’t forgive. Life is short and it’s difficult to make up for all the time that has been lost.
This experience caused me to ponder the power of forgiveness and the need for it in our lives. Sure, when someone says something or does something to cause us harm, it hurts. But we need to move beyond the hurt, to healing, which comes from forgiveness.
I like to think of forgiveness as the bold choice we make to clear out of our lives resentment, bitterness, anger, hatred, and revenge. We need to ask ourselves, “Do I want to waste precious time and energy carrying around these nasty feelings?”
Holding on to the past only weakens the relationship we have with a spouse, parent, child, brother or sister, or friend, and keeps us from mending it and putting it back together.
Often forgiveness is not for the other person; it’s for us—to let it go and begin again.
Charlie, a friend of mine, came to see me about a problem he was having. He was angry with his father for dying. He said, “He died just when I was getting to know him as a buddy, a friend. We’d fish, hunt, and golf together. Now it’s all gone.”
I told him, “You have unfinished business with your father. Go and tell him.”
“He’s dead, ” Charlie said, “How can I?”
I said, “ Get in your car and go to the cemetery and tell him how angry you are with him.” He left me looking confused.
Two weeks later, Charlie came and told me, “I feel better. I drove to the cemetery and stood over his grave and dumped my angry. Then I closed my eyes and said to myself what I felt my dad would say. Wow, I never realized how much energy keeping all that anger inside can do to a person.”
Forgiveness brings healing, freedom, and peace back into our lives. It opens our eyes to see what happened. It calls on us to pull down the walls, stop the silent treatment and put an end to the cold war.
Use today as an opportunity to open a door that has been closed too long. Forgive. Let it go. Put it behind you and see how much better you will feel.
Give it a try. It works.
最近，我前往当地一家医院的住院部看望一个朋友。
当我和比尔一起聊天时，一位先生走进房间。比尔看到他，便开始哭泣，那位先生也跟着哭了起来。那位先生还弯下腰来拥抱床上的比尔。过了一会儿，那位名叫肯的先生告诉我：“他是我哥哥，我们已经有25年没说过话了。”
他的话让我大吃一惊，我说：“你是在开玩笑吧？”
“不，我们曾经为了一笔财产发生过争执，从那以后，我们就再没来往过。”肯回答。
比尔说：“肯，你还没看到过我的孩子。”
接着，比尔将他的孩子们挨个儿介绍给他们的叔叔。我离开关怀病区时感慨万分：我们不肯宽恕别人是多么不应该。生命匆匆，要想把所有丢失的时间全都补上，是非常困难的。
这次经历让我开始思考宽恕的力量，思量着我们对宽恕的迫切需求。的确，当他人的言语或行为让我们受到伤害的时候，我们会觉得受了伤。可是，我们需要跨越伤害，去疗伤止痛，而宽恕则是治愈伤痛的良药。
我愿意把宽恕当成一种勇敢的选择。宽恕清除了生活中的怨恨、苦难、愤怒、憎恶和复仇。我们应该自我反省：“我情愿把宝贵的时间和精力浪费在这些令人厌恶的情绪上吗？”
对过去的事仍然耿耿于怀，只会影响我们与爱人、父母、孩子、兄弟姐妹或者朋友的关系，而不会帮助我们增进感情，重归于好。
多数情况下，宽恕并不是为了对方，而是为了我们大家。让过去随风而去，重新开始我们的生活。
有一天，我的朋友查理来看我，那时正有一个问题困扰着他。他为父亲的离去愤怒不已。他说：“就在我刚要把他当成伙伴、朋友时，他却走了。我们曾经一起去钓鱼，一起打猎，一起打高尔夫球。而现在，一切都不复存在了。”
我对他说：“你和你的父亲还有一件事没有完成，去告诉他吧。”
“但他已经去世了。”查理说，“我应该怎样告诉他呢？”
我回答道：“开车去墓地，向他倾诉你是多么气愤。”他满脸疑惑地离开了我。
两个星期过去了，查理跑来对我说：“我感觉好多了。我开车到了墓地，站在他的墓前发泄了我的怒火。接着，我闭上眼睛，想象着父亲可能会对我说的话。天哪，我从未想过那些愤怒藏在心里，会对一个人造成多么大的影响。”
宽恕可以把康复、自由与和平再一次带回到我们的生活中来。曾经发生过的事，给我们带来一个全新的视角。它召唤着我们推倒高墙，停止沉默，终结冷战。
利用今天的机会去开启那扇关闭了许久的门吧！要宽恕，让过去随风而逝。忘记过去，看看你是否觉得心情舒畅。
试一试吧，这种方法很有效。
人生匆匆，不要把时间浪费在无谓的嫉恨上。让过去随风而去，重新开始我们的生活。
1. Then Bill introduced his_________ to their uncle. I left the hospice unit_________, there’s something wrong when we can’t forgive. Life is_________ and it’s difficult to make up for all the time that has been_________.
2. Charlie, a friend of mine, came to see me about a_________ he was having. He was angry with his_________ for dying. He said, “He died just_________ I was getting to know him as a buddy, a friend. We’d fish, hunt, and golf together. Now it’s all_________.”
3. Use today as an opportunity to open a_________ that has been closed too long. Forgive. Let it go. Put it behind you and see how much_________ you will feel.
1. 我愿意把宽恕当成一种勇敢的选择。
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. 多数情况下，宽恕并不是为了对方，而是为了我们大家。
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. 宽恕可以把康复、自由与和平再一次带回到我们的生活中来。
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1. Life is short and it’s difficult to make up for all the time that has been lost.
make up for：补偿；弥补
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. He was angry with his father for dying.
be angry with：对某人发脾气
