I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which God be thanked, hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies Ithank you: I must discontinue your company: your brother the bastard is fled from Messina: you have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet: and, till then, peace be with him.
Exit DON PEDRO He is in earnest. CLAUDIO In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice. DON PEDRO And hath challenged thee. CLAUDIO Most sincerely. DON PEDRO What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit! CLAUDIO He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a doctor to such a man. DON PEDRO But, soft you, let me be: pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did he not say, my brother was fled?
Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO DOGBERRY Come you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance:
nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. DON PEDRO How now? two of my brother's men bound!
Borachio one! CLAUDIO Hearken after their offence, my lord. DON PEDRO Officers, what offence have these men done? DOGBERRY Marry, sir, they have committed false report;moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. DON PEDRO First, I ask thee what they have done;thirdly, I
ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge. CLAUDIO Rightly reasoned, and in his own division:
and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. DON PEDRO Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood: what's your offence? BORACHIO Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer:
do you hear me, and let this count kill me. Ihave deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light: who in the night overheard me confessing to this man how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments, how you disgraced her, when you should marry her: my villany they have upon record;which I had rather seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. DON PEDRO Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? CLAUDIO I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it. DON PEDRO But did my brother set thee on to this? BORACHIO Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it. DON PEDRO He is composed and framed of treachery:
And fled he is upon this villany. CLAUDIO Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear In the rare semblance that I loved it first. DOGBERRY Come, bring away the plaintiffs: by this time our sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter:
and, masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass. VERGES Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and the Sexton too.
