登陆注册
33131600000271

第271章

`With Alexei,' said Anna, `I know what you talked about. But Iwanted to ask you directly what you think of me, of my life?'

`How am I to say anything so suddenly? I really don't know.'

`No, tell me all the same.... You see my life. But you mustn't forget that you're seeing us in the summer, when you have come to us and we are not alone.... But we came here early in the spring, lived quite alone, and shall be alone again, and I desire nothing better. But imagine me living alone without him, alone, and that will be... I see by everything that it will often be repeated, that he will be half the time away from home,' she said, getting up and sitting down close by Dolly. `Of course,'

she interrupted Dolly, who would have answered, `of course I won't try to keep him by force. I don't keep him indeed. The races are just coming, his horses are running, he will go. I'm very glad. But think of me, fancy my position.... But what's the use of talking about it!' She smiled. `Well, what did he talk about with you?'

`He spoke of what I want to speak about myself, and it's easy for me to be his advocate; of whether there is not a possibility... whether you could not...' (Darya Alexandrovna hesitated) `correct, or improve your position.... You know how I look at it... But all the same, if possible, you should get married....'

`Divorce, you mean?' said Anna. `Do you know, the only woman who came to see me in Peterburg was Betsy Tverskaia? You know her, of course? Au fond, c'est la femme la plus dépravee qui existe . She had an intrigue with Tushkevich, deceiving her husband in the basest way.

And she told me that she did not care to know me so long as my position was irregular. Don't imagine I would compare... I know you, darling. But I could not help remembering... Well, so what did he say to you?' she repeated.

`He said that he was unhappy on your account and his own. Perhaps you will say that it's egoism, but what a legitimate and noble egoism.

He wants first of all to legitimize his daughter, and to be your husband, to have a legal right to you.'

`What wife, what slave can be so utterly a slave as I, in my position?'

she put in gloomily.

`The chief thing he desires... he desires that you should not suffer.'

`That's impossible. Well?'

`Well, and the most legitimate desire - he wishes that your children should have a name.'

`What children?' Anna said, not looking at Dolly, and half closing her eyes.

`Annie and those to come...'

`He need not trouble on that score; I shall have no more children.'

`How can you tell that you won't?'

`I shall not, because I don't wish it.' And, in spite of all her emotion, Anna smiled, as she caught the naïve expression of curiosity, wonder, and horror on Dolly's face.

`The doctor told me after my illness...'

`Impossible!' said Dolly, opening her eyes wide. For here this was one of those discoveries the consequences and deductions from which are so immense that all that one feels for the first instant is that it is impossible to take it all in, and that one will have to reflect a great, great deal upon it.

This discovery, suddenly throwing light on all those families of one or two children, which had hitherto been so incomprehensible to her, aroused so many ideas, reflections, and contradictory emotions, that she had nothing to say, and simply gazed with wide-open eyes of wonder at Anna. This was the very thing she had been dreaming of, but now learning that it was possible, she was horrified. She felt that it was too ****** a solution of too complicated a problem.

` N'est-ce pas immoral ?' was all she said, after a brief pause.

`Why so? Think - I have a choice between two alternatives: either to be with child, that is an invalid, or to be the friend and companion of my husband - practically my husband,' Anna said in a tone intentionally superficial and frivolous.

`Yes, yes,' said Darya Alexandrovna, hearing the very arguments she had used to herself, and not finding the same force in them as before.

`For you, for other people,' said Anna, as though divining her thoughts, `there may be reason to hesitate; but for me... You must consider - I am not his wife; he loves me as long as he loves me. And how am I to keep his love? Not like this!'

She moved her white hands in a curve before her waist.

With extraordinary rapidity, as happens during moments of excitement, ideas and memories rushed into Darya Alexandrovna's head. `I,' she thought, `did not keep my attraction for Stiva; he left me for others, and the first woman for whom he betrayed me did not keep him by being always pretty and lively. He deserted her and took another. And can Anna attract and keep Count Vronsky in that way? If that is what he looks for, he will find dresses and manners still more attractive and charming. And, however white and beautiful her bare arms are, however beautiful her full figure and her eager face under her black curls, he will find something better still, just as my disgusting, pitiful, and charming husband does.'

Dolly made no answer, she merely sighed. Anna noticed this sigh, indicating dissent, and she went on. In her armory she had other arguments so strong that no answer could be made to them.

`Do you say that it's not right? But you must consider,' she went on; `you forget my position. How can I desire children? I'm not speaking of the suffering - I'm not afraid of that. Think, only - what are my children to be? Ill-fated children, who will have to bear a stranger's name. For the very fact of their birth they will be forced to be ashamed of their mother, their father, their birth.'

`But that is just why a divorce is necessary.'

But Anna did not hear her. She longed to give utterance to all the arguments with which she had so many times convinced herself.

`What is reason given me for, if I am not to use it to avoid bringing unhappy beings into the world!'

She looked at Dolly, but without waiting for a reply she went on:

同类推荐
  • 画筌析览

    画筌析览

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 皇朝经世文续编_3

    皇朝经世文续编_3

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 月

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 华严经决疑论

    华严经决疑论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 玉藻

    玉藻

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 锦州匪事

    锦州匪事

    民国时期的东三省一片匪气,东北王张作霖更是以匪出身。若是隔着两代往上数,村村都有匪,他们又有一个皇而堂皇的名字,保安队。还记得小时候,最爱听爷爷给我讲匪的故事,尤其是那个布满了传奇色彩的,锦州西,大凌河,班吉塔一代的侠匪——沈云鹤。
  • 爱豆是我男友

    爱豆是我男友

    天生舞台王者×追星女孩祁随×熊落桐甜饼女主追星但很有理智熊落桐家新来的邻居竟然是她的爱豆!!!她这是什么追星锦鲤啊!爱豆的狗狗竟然喜欢自己哈哈哈哈!这是什么运气。“我喜欢你。”“我,我不喜欢你,我只把你当爱豆。”嘤嘤嘤,为什么我的爱豆喜欢我?!而且为什么恋爱之后的爱豆会有两幅面孔呢?怎么破?对外高冷对她……撒娇卖萌还哭哭?这真是她的爱豆吗?祁随这人高冷淡漠童星出道没有绯闻,对他来说好像没什么在意和喜欢的事情和人,没想到一个小家伙最后闯进了他的世界,他想爱护她保护她和她结婚让他永远属于自己。一眼万年,足以永恒。食用指南:★有原型男主角是我看范丞丞《哑剧》的舞台有灵感的★1V1SCHE
  • 何处笑容不温暖

    何处笑容不温暖

    闺蜜说她智商正250,情商负250,之所以看起来不那么傻,全靠智商硬撑。初见男神,男神要送她签名照;她怕给男神添麻烦,拒绝了,网上男神照片那么多,她自己打印就好啦。饭局后,校草要送她回校;她怕给校草添麻烦,拒绝了,她跆拳道黑带七段,可以保护自己的。青梅竹马,向她求婚;她觉得竹马看她的眼神像在看食物,怕被吃掉,遂果断拒绝了。有一天,温暖问她闺蜜,我想把男神拐回家,该怎么办呢?闺蜜戳爆她的头,骂道,你丫的,注孤生!
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 天人启示录

    天人启示录

    物理学一直存在,仙路中物理学也一直存在。
  • 喜欢紫色的女人

    喜欢紫色的女人

    紫色是庄重典雅的颜色,它是七色彩虹赤橙黄绿青蓝紫中最后的一道色彩,默默无闻的配合着其他颜色发挥着整体的功能,不炫耀,不夺目,甘当配角。肖家姐妹俩是不同职业和年龄的现代女性,在网络上和现实之中演绎着她们情感深处的真情。然而,来到网络上的人们并不能脱离现实生活中的“残酷意境”,网络不是世外桃源……
  • 清醒爱

    清醒爱

    路易十四,花语,只钟情于你。芭蕾舞剧落幕,柏尧在一群人的簇拥下带着它闯入后台,单膝跪地,浅吻卓一诺的眉心,把戒指套在她的无名指上,她第一次感受他的霸道,无法抗拒,只是在别人的欢呼与掌声中点头哭泣。2008年10月16日,卓一诺傻傻站在一直封锁的阁楼外,听见爸爸与柏尧的争吵声。这一刻,白色礼服染满的红酒仿佛是她心里滴下的血,原来一切公主的梦境都不属于她,她是一个小偷,偷走了属于一晴的东西;她是一个傀儡,被加冕属于一晴的幸福,她到底是谁?最信任,最爱的人一直都在欺骗她,亲情,爱情,这是一场游戏,阴谋还是……?
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 时空之隙

    时空之隙

    从高中时候就开始构思的题材,现在,在这里正式开写,也是我的第一部作品,想来想去,果然这是一个很有趣的故事。有点热血有点基,想到后面的剧情我都佩服自己能想出这么玄的东西,不过,这个玄的东西的登场应该在很久以后的,现在还是老老实实的讲故事哦。自我感觉故事也是很不错的,如果对我的作品有意见的话就在下方留言哦,我会尽力回复的,最后,希望大家多多支持我。
  • 捕灵使

    捕灵使

    工地婴儿的哭声,楼顶凄戾的惨叫,……异世惊天浩劫,一切只因妖灵鬼怪惑世,血月学院也因此招收具有捕灵使血脉的人类,壮大势力,得以生存。高中生林沐颜获得祖上传承,踏入血月学院,且看他(她)如何带领捕灵使踏上巅峰之路